Tuesday, September 22, 2009

A Simple Life

If there many changes and things going on right now that have made life seem crazy, if not hectic, one way to tackle this is to make your goal a simple life. The question is, how does one attain a simple life when there is so much happening at once and decisions that need to be made.

Do one thing at a time.

If your focus is divided into too many points, it is hard to accel at one thing. When feeling overwhelmed, it is best to concentrate on one task at a time. If you immerse yourself in dealing with the here and now, you will accomplish some of what you set out to do and therefore feel as though are not just spinning your wheels in the mud.

Keep what is important to you around.

Life is too important to spend it worrying about things that end up being irrelevant to you in the end. Only keep those things in your life that are important to you. Spend time partaking in those things that you deem a priority.

Enjoy what you have.

This means that you are grateful for what you have in your life and that you truly relish its presence. You may not have everything that you want in life but it is rare that people have it all, even peoples definitions of having it all is different from one person to the next.

Clear the clutter.

Try to get rid of belongings that you do not really need. It's amazing how little we actually need. Once you clean out your closets and get rid of those excess material possessions, we are more able to appreciate the things that we do have.

Be in the moment.

Being present is one of the hardest things for people to do. Many people are focused on the next steps and what they need to do now to get there. There is nothing wrong with goals and setting yourself up in a position to achieve them but you also have to spend time in the here and now to obtain simple life satisfaction. If your idea of relaxation is a hot bubble bath, take one. Focus on your breathing, taking in the fresh air of the outdoors and the beauty that surrounds you.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Make it or Break it?

Often times in a relationship it is hard to know whether you should keep pressing forward or whether it is time to walk away and start anew. Relationships are anything but cut and dry, especially when conflict is involved. So, how does one decide whether it makes sense to stick through the tough times or move on.
Do not let your emotions do the talking.

Most people know better than to make major career decisions when they are emotionally charged or upset. The same rules should apply to an emotional relationship. Major relationship decisions should never be made in haste or in the midst of an argument. If you cannot have a calm and collected conversation about your relationship without getting upset, it is best to reserve that conversation for another time when you are both in a calm place. When you do this, you are less likely to say something that you do not mean out of anger.

Do not let the small stuff ruin a good thing.

This seems like a no-brainer but there are many people out there who get annoyed by those pesky little relationship annoyances and let them balloon into something bigger and irreparable. If everything else about your relationship is on track, you trust each other, you're attracted to one another, you respect each other etc... look at compromising on some of the little things that bother you.

Ask yourself how you feel about yourself in the relationship.

If you like yourself when you're on your own, but find yourself always feeling insecure or turning mean when you are with him, you should reconsider your relationship. Are you able to be yourself with him? Do you feel confident when your with him? Is it as though you are a better version of yourself when you are together? If your answers to the last three questions are yes, then your relationship is likely a healthy one and serving you well.

Do not ignore the big things.

There are bigger issues in a relationship that should not be ignored just because you are in that happy place together such as cleanliness, family values, drugs and alcohol and financial matters. Is he is a slob? Do you both want the same things in terms of family and future? Does he do drugs or drink more than you would like? Are you similar when it comes to money matters with regards to spending it and saving it? Are these things that you can deal with or are you in it hoping that it will change later? Chances of change are always present, but you should keep in mind that the person you have before you today may never change. If you are not comfortable with the person you are with today, you should perhaps rethink whether you want to be with that person long term.
Do what you feel is best.
Deciding whether or not to stay in a relationship is indeed a stressful situation. Keep in mind that your relationship should serve both you and your partner and ideally you should both be better versions of yourself when you are together. If you find yourself asking the question of whether to stay or go, you need to think about what you really want and how you truly feel before making your decision.