Friday, August 7, 2009

The One?

It can take months, days or happen in the blink of an eye...chemistry, attraction, that 'je ne sais quoi' that can lead to something more.

Often times women are left trying to decipher whether they have found 'the One'. There are a few ways to tell if you have a keeper or a sport fish that you should return back to the ocean.

1. He listens to you.

Any man with an interest in pursuing a future or a serious relationship with you, will listen to what you have to say when you need him to. The problem will never be too big, out of genuine concern he will want to help you and try to guide you to a solution to the problem.

2. You trust him.

You trust that he has your best interest at heart. Without trust a relationship is doomed. Your expectations should be managed and realistic. It is violated expectations that can ruin a relationship.

3. You would be his friend even if he were not your boyfriend.

He is good person, someone you would want to be around, even if it were not in the romantic sense. Partners require the same amount of nurturing that a friendship does. You should hold him to the same standard that you hold your friends to. If your friend constantly let you down, you would likely not want to be their friend anymore. If your friend needed you, you would be there for them etc.

4. You share common ground.

Your moral compasses should be similar. Your values and beliefs as well as desires for the future should share common ground so that you can grow together as a couple.

5. It feels right.

Every relationship has its ups and downs but you should not feel like you are a square trying to fit through a round hole. When things are going well, it feels almost effortless, as though things are meant to be. You don't feel like you are constantly trying to be someone you are not.

6. He enriches your life.

As the old saying goes "love gives you wings". You should feel as though he supports you and stimulates your desires and stretches your imagination further.

7. He sacrifices for you.

The right man will consider sacrificing for you an honour. He will gladly give as it means that he is not giving up something himself but investing in a future for the both of you. It does not need to be a monetary sacrifice but can be as easy as spending quality time with you.

Be careful of the kind of packages you seek the One in. I once had a girlfriend who would only date men that were a certain height, had a certain eye color etc. Open your mind and your heart and see what there is around you and you may just find that the One was there all along or right around the corner.

1 comment: